What If’s

What if I did what you did what you did to me?

What if I did the same?

Because two can play this game

What if I kissed the one you loved

What if I made that person smile

What if I made you cry at night

I thought we were real tight

With you I always saw the light

You are… were the closest to me

You hurt me once and I forgave

With hesitance but I forgave you

I… Forgave You!!!!

Because of my need of your support…

Without you I'm vulnerable

Yet with you now I feel the same way

I love you with all my heart!

But I can't trust you

Put yourself in my shoes

Would you trust me????

Betrayal twice???

The same way???

I don't understand

Anyone else but the one I love… loved…

Still love.

And you know that

Truth hurts…

But the truth is all I wanted…

Truth…

Something I never thought that would

A problem for you

Not you!!!

Not you!!!

Now I left with a lot of what If's

What If's.

 

Letter to My Mother

Ever heard of the saying an eye for an eye?

Well until recently I never realized its importance to me.

I don't think you realize it either

I Love You…

But this situation is more than you

I stress too, more than you think

My life isn't easy

I walk around putting on a front

I pretend I'm fine when I'm not

Pretend I'm happy when I'm depressed

Pretend I got money when I'm broke

Pretend I'm full when I'm starving

I walk when I want to run

I speak life when I think death

I smile when I want to cry

I stand when I want to sit

I continue when I want to quit

I'm grown when I want childhood

I struggle because I have to

I live because of you

I'm careful because of you

I work hard because of you

But I stay away because of you

I run away from love because of you

Because…

I'm ashamed, scared, and unsure

My life on this earth was, and continues to be a burden

I'm killing myself for you

I'm burning myself out for you

I'm busing my ass for you

Struggling for you

Why!??!

So you don't have to

You've done enough

When the hell will you see that?

Take a break

My mind and hear are constantly racing

But your happiness is worth it

Forget about me

And worry about you now

And your baby

No else is as important

Like it or not

I'll be ok

I'm strong because of you