Cancerian Moon

He's beautiful to me 

I've seen him in my dreams 

He's comfortable to me 

Still not sure what that means

He's fun to me 

Its always a good time 

Even when we hang out 

With no plans in mind 

Skin soft as silk

Lips full as the moon 

Tried to steal a kiss 

Maybe I'm trying to soon

But he's beautiful to me

So I'll take my time 

Because only cheap things are quick

I'll let him age like fine wine 

Skin soft as silk

Lips full as the moon 

Tried to steal a kiss 

Maybe too soon

I miss him when he's gone 

Love to see his face 

Body petite and small

I can only imagine the taste 

With that caramelized complexion

And those big brown eyes

The definition in his jaw

Sometimes I get arise 

Skin soft a silk 

Lips full as the moon 

Want to steal a kiss

Cancerian eau de lune

His body in the stars

His face is a constellation

Can't wait to see him at night 

Interstellar visitation 

Rock Bottom

Honestly it's been a long time coming
I really spent a long time running
Running  the street
Running a business
Running from Love

I fell from Graceland
I lost it all
I lost
I'm lost
Trying to win a losing battle

I fought for my freedom
I relinquished my dependence
Just to end up becoming a delinquent
Behind the curve
In my own  lane

Beyond brain
Beyond sane
Lost in space
Left with time
Misdirected

Smacked
Trapped
Tracked
Taken
Stolen

Rock bottom
My heart went numb
Skin cold to the touch
Mind blank
Reality is  real

Solidarity is welcomed
Ears deaf
Vision blurred
Nerves pierce organs like needles through walls
Bones soft as gelatin
Stress seceded

Relief
I was somewhat released
But burdened by becoming a burden
Time isn't my friend
Decisions must be made

Rocks can be broken
Pebbles will be flattened
Walls must be reinforced
Foundation built stronger
Dreams start from the bottom

Death of one Era
Beginning of a new
I may have lost "IT"
But I will rebuild
Starting from Rock Bottom

The Deep

In the darkness I found the monster that lived under my bed...

It vacationed in my closet... 

It always rode with me in my backseat  with the partition up....

It lurked behind my shadow...

Slowly but surely relinquishing me of my strength...

Relieving  me of my courage...

Robbing me of my self esteem, worth, and awareness...

Feeding off me like cancer...

Waiting for the perfect moment to strike...

Strategically placing every obstacle...

And documenting every failure...

In the darkness I found the monster that lived in my dreams...

Orchestrated my nightmares...

Capitalized my fears...

Exploited my shortcomings... 

Disguised my enemies...

Befriended my naysayers...

Patronized my superiors...

Preyed on abandonments...

In the darkness I found comfort...

Comfort in solidarity...

Comfort in desperation...

Comfort in negativity...

In darkness like viral cells insecurity flourishes...

Like plagues it ravishes...

Leaving devastation...

All that remains is 50 shards of regret...

A desolate soul...

And weathered spirit....

I delve deeper into the darkness and found myself...

What I once believed was a monstrosity...

Was a truth so raw like a shingles flare up...

Painful but unable to be ignored...

Nothing shallow is worth holding onto...

I took it all to the point of no return...

Releasing it into the atmosphere like a river to the sea...

Letting whatever stayed afloat I let go... 

It took sometime to understand the serenity...

In darkness is resolution...

Searching the deep for everything else...

I found clarity...

Hearts never swim in shallow creeks...

And in order to trust and love oneself you must dig deep...