Happiness is being with you or in your presence…
Laughter is your smile and wit…
Sorrow is breaking your heart…
Fearfulness is leaving you…
You are my strength, yet also my weakness…
You make me smile…
You make me cry…
You bring me peace…
Yet you take me apart…
You complete my puzzle…
You're that last piece that no one could find…
You were found…
Love, Emotions…
My nickname is Emotions…. I tell you this because I trust you…..
I trust that you…. If you're lucky enough to gain access to heart…. That you won't break it…..
I still fine hard to believe that it was broken…. But it wasn't just broken….
It was ripped from my chest and poisoned….. Affecting my ability to trust people….
As I watched in sheer horror…. the people who I was lead to believe were trustworthy…..
Took turns destroying my heart and now…. I'm contempt….
As the tears fall down my face…. I think of Noah….
You can never hurt me he says…. And ill protect you he says ….
Things that I feel… I should say to you… but I scared and scared….
Should I trust you??? Could I trust you???? Would I trust you???
I let you go for what I thought were unselfish reasons….. But now I find myself regretting my decision……
Was I selfish???? Because if you think about it I didn't ask your opinion…. Was it ok for me to say goodbye to something that didn't have a chance to grow?????
To abort you like an unwanted fetus… was I selfish?????? To say goodbye to someone who made me smile on the inside and out….
You are so precious to me…. your spirit can never be touched yet it touches mine…..
Do you care for me???? I mean like I care for you???? Should I have second guessed us???? Is this even worth my time????
You had me at hello….. And I would just hate to think that when I said goodbye to you…….
That meant forever….
(jdtw)
Pride is something I don't have much of because every time I turn around I'm swallowing mine for someone else to be happy.
I sacrifice my beliefs and values to keep you around… why??? Because who wants to be alone???
Not I anymore… So to save you the pain and trouble I went through by myself… Locked up in a cage and confined to a room I no longer want to be in… I try to make it work…
I've never been much of a quitter… Even when you constantly spit on me… Instead of walking away or beating the HELL out of you … I put on a shield and grit and bare it…
A fascia that takes the wear and tear of your games that you play with me… It bends but never brakes… My pride for years has been the only thing that kept me from you…
All the denials that I've bared… Because I'd rather be your friend then nothing… All the disappointments like telling me you want to chill and never getting back to me or even worst never showing when you do…
Leaving me longing to be with you but confused and alone… Do I love you???? Too soon to answer… Lust to be with you???? Definitely… But only as a friend to hold and kiss when the time is right…
My pride is saying to let you go and go back to the old me… The BITCH everyone loved to hate… But my body is yearning to be in your presence alone… In your arms… Watching the stars at night…
Pride is a terrible thing if you don't tame it… But if you don't make the right move soon… My pride will be unleashed again…
And you WILL miss out on what I think is a great opportunity…
Have you ever had a conversation with a person in complete silence???
I do all the time… Some people say that silence is a virtue… and I agree… because only in complete silence can you listen to someone's true feelings…
In complete silence you get no bull****… all raw emotions…
When I listen to these people… although they are not verbally speaking… I hear what they have to say very clearly…
Some say they resent me, some say why am I here, some say they can't stand me… but in all of this noise…
I stay silent... Grin… and let peace be still… because only in silence words do not kill…
When will I realize that you will never change for me…? I fact when are you going to realize that you have changed…?
I keep making excuses for why you treat me so differently… but all excuses have run out… Reality…. You're very impressionable…You changed without even noticing you did… I think…? but then again I could be just making another excuse for me stay around you…
I don't want to leave!!! It's too easy to walk out the door with unresolved issues… but when I try to get to the bottom of things… I get blank stares, attitudes, and shallow apologies… All in which mean nothing to me… especially when the problem persists…
Notice me!!! Realize I have a problem!!!! TRY!!!!! Is it me????
Maybe!!!
But until you realize that I have realized… I and we will never know.
To my standard you didn't, don't, and will never try hard enough to keep me around… So do you think it's up to me to keep whatever we had, have, or will have on track???? I don't think so!!! In 2008 I took on a lot of responsibility that I shouldn't have but because of the person I am or was I did it without even thinking about it…
While being criticizes… and never getting any credit for trying… our friendship suffered because it…
I mean why would you think of it as your or our mutual responsibility if before you realized it, it was taken care of… by me… I swallowed my pride… what is my standard???? I don't know but as of now I don't think you fit… I mean you could fit if you took the initiative to try… but I haven't seen any ground breaking movements…
So instead of killing myself…. Like I did in 2008…. I'm going to let you make the decision because if you want me around you will…
But in the event that you don't it was nice knowing you in 2008
