It vacationed in my closet...
It always rode with me in my backseat with the partition up....
It lurked behind my shadow...
Slowly but surely relinquishing me of my strength...
Relieving me of my courage...
Robbing me of my self esteem, worth, and awareness...
Feeding off me like cancer...
Waiting for the perfect moment to strike...
Strategically placing every obstacle...
And documenting every failure...
In the darkness I found the monster that lived in my dreams...
Orchestrated my nightmares...
Capitalized my fears...
Exploited my shortcomings...
Disguised my enemies...
Befriended my naysayers...
Patronized my superiors...
Preyed on abandonments...
In the darkness I found comfort...
Comfort in solidarity...
Comfort in desperation...
Comfort in negativity...
In darkness like viral cells insecurity flourishes...
Like plagues it ravishes...
Leaving devastation...
All that remains is 50 shards of regret...
A desolate soul...
And weathered spirit....
I delve deeper into the darkness and found myself...
What I once believed was a monstrosity...
Was a truth so raw like a shingles flare up...
Painful but unable to be ignored...
Nothing shallow is worth holding onto...
I took it all to the point of no return...
Releasing it into the atmosphere like a river to the sea...
Letting whatever stayed afloat I let go...
It took sometime to understand the serenity...
In darkness is resolution...
Searching the deep for everything else...
I found clarity...
Hearts never swim in shallow creeks...
And in order to trust and love oneself you must dig deep...
