Clarity

Some say I tell too much

But I say I haven't said enough

What I've been going through…

I could scream or cry at any moment

So what do I do?

Throw myself into work

Create new stress

And bigger disappointments

I have dreams

I have aspirations

But why does responsibility always…

I'm fucked

Mentally

Physically

Emotionally

Fucked

Speaking of emotions

I've been really on edge since I've left that medically induced comatose I called a life

Doctors

Medicines

They all wanted to numb me

Well I wanna feel

I wanna cry

I wanna know what my body and mind are going through…

Torture

My self respect is up

But self esteem lmao

I'm so over caring for Jim James Paul and Tyrone

Cuz something in me says they don't give a damn about me

Selfish

Selfless

Two words that seem to get confused

They think they're doing me a favor

I'm led on and led astray

Constantly confused

Underappreciated

Or unappreciated

I think I make myself very clear

Concise even

Yet my message still seems misconstrued

So what do I do?

What should I do?

Am I crazy?

Is this is all in my head?

Damn it

I need answers

I need the courage to ask those questions

I just need a moment of clarity

Domino Affect

My senses are in a heightened frenzy

I feel a sense of neglect

You open the flood gates

And left me empty

I go on my day to day

But like a candle left on overnight

My flame is dwindling

I give you a foot

And you're returning an inch

Is it me???

Cuz it's playing on my mind

My emotions are confused

My admittance to being weak

Scary

Bemused

I tear up with frustration

My fire extinguishing

Communicate to me

Communicate with me

Come back to my space

Spark my gasoline

Give me the mile you once gave

Ecstasy

I need that climatic experience

Just kiss me

Everything else will fall into place

Domino affect

Just kiss me

The moon is full

My tides are high

Kiss me

And watch as the tidal wave

Engulfs you

Just kiss me

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Talk

Let's talk

I'm having an issue with the way a lot of things are panning out.

Dating

I like what I like

And I want what I want

I like what I want

But does it want me back

I'm confused    

Because I don't know if its insecurity

Or if I'm reading what I think are signs all wrong

I like you

I think you like me

Or could I just be you being friendly

I think I make my intentions clear

So why do I fear

That it is not clear at all

I guess instant gratification

And a more constant relation

Because this spotty conversation

Is killing me

I know you have other priorities

And other engagement s

And prior arrangements to attend to

But I need to see you more

So I can get to know you more

Because I'm interested

So let's talk

 

Dreaming state

I can't sleep well anymore
I keep wanting more to happen
I wake up hoping to see your name on my screen
Or see you next to me
In my bed comfortably
I miss a kiss good night
Or the way a body feels when it's held tight
Through the night
I miss him
I wanna see him everyday
That smile
Those eyes
His energy
The butterflies
I'm scared
I'm falling and I don't wanna fall alone
I'm afraid to hit the ground
That's why I need him around
So I know I won't be caught up
Alone
I'm in my bed
Thinking of you
By the phone
I wishing I could maybe
Call you my own
One day
Is it possible???
Or am I just in a dreaming state???