Just for a moment…
One moment…
I wish he were there for me…
But he wasn't…
He wasn't there to protect me …
He wasn't there to love me…
He just wasn't there…
And I resent him for it…
My heart bleeds every time I think about...
Him…
Was I not enough?
The question that burns in my mind…
Or maybe he's ashamed…
Is the man I am today not good enough?
I guess ill never know…
Does he know that because of him I've never known Love…
That unconditional love that a man gives to a boy…
That love that builds a boys confidence…
Does he know I've never let any man fill that void…
Why?
Because they weren't him…
My strength fails me…
As I grew I watched others live with what I yearned for…
Even in my adulthood I'm just mere footsteps away from it…
It breaks my heart…
Torments me…
To watch what so many take for granted flourish before me…
He missed my whole life…
First haircut, soccer game, fight, driver license, the list goes on…
I'm labeled the bastard child…
Boy without a father…
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