MMMMMMMM......

I woke up lusting for it

Drove around thinking about

Going on with plans yearning for it

Talking about getting it

Thinking about it going down my throat

The thick white cream pouring down

Mouth watering as I pop the cherry and swallow it with no hesitation

I selfishly forget to share as I suck it down

MMMMMMM…….

Lick my lips to remove all excess cream

Then reply that was the best I’ve had in awhile

Strawberry Shake from Chick Fila

Contradictions

No more crying! (I’m lying)

No more questions! (They’ve been answered)

No more heartbreak! (Too late it’s already broken)

No more tainted spirit! (Spirit long gone)

No more pain! (Constantly in pain)

No more feelings! (Feelings are scatters not gone)

No more love! (Still in love)

No more depression! (Been depressed)

No more confusion! (?)

No more relationship! (Never had a real one)

No more weakness! (Practically dead inside)

Smile on the outside cry inside…

Happy for you sad for me…

Want you to have everything I don’t…

Question Existing

Why do we cry???

What is the point???

It dries out your skin, makes your eyes red, and it seems to solve nothing….

I know some of you are saying nothing??? What do you mean nothing, I feel better after…

But do you really??? Because if I recall after you finish crying the thing or pain that made you cry in the first place is still there…

So I ask again what is the purpose of crying???

I guess to fully understand the purpose of crying we must know the reason why we’re crying in the first place…

I can tell I lost some of you…

Some say it’s because they’re happy, joyful, thankful, or relieved…

Others say because they’re in pain or because of loss…

But the majority of us cry because of stress, anger, depression, shame, loneliness, or because of him or her…

Bottom line… it makes no difference what we are crying about, but the problem lies in why we let that certain emotion build inside that caused the unnecessary shed of tears…

So my question is why are you crying???

Letter to love

Dear love,

Why do you always turn your back on me??? I’m confused, when you appear in my heart I take care of you. I feed you, give you drink, and I try to satisfy your every request to the best of my ability… yet you always run away from me.

What do I do wrong love??? Do I care for you to much??? Do I out love you??? Do I annoy you??? Questions I ask myself because you never answer. Am I too damaged??? I don’t understand you!!!

I do everything the book says… put you first, give you my all, sacrifice for you, love you unconditionally, and even build up you self esteem at the cost of my own.

When it comes you I could never be selfish… I give you all I have… even my last breath if it meant that you would continue to love… why don’t you love me???

It seems that the same energy and passion I give you you continuously give to someone else. I never mean as much to you as you mean to me… and the fun thing is, I don’t think I ever will…. So what do I do… what could I do…. Nothing???

I have nothing left to give… I’m completely vulnerable… hmmm... it’s funny that’s the same time you disappear every time. Leading me to believe that your never gonna be here for me. Left frail, desolate, and bare while you move on to the next.

The only people who are left have there own love… leaving me as alone as I was when you left the umpteenth time. So what to do???

Wait for the cycle to repeat itself… and maybe just maybe I’ll beat you to the punch and then I’ll have my day of temporary happiness… I’m insane… to actually hope for a change.

This is a change even Obama can’t fix or amend…

Purpose

I'm so tired of being tired…

I can't sleep…

Not really hungry…

Depression…

I ache, I cry, and I think all the time…

Hope for the best, think for the worst…

Look for comfort but in their arms… I will not be embraced

Because I'm lonely and miserable…

Can't get over one, falling for another

Constantly thinking about her…

And my baby brother…

Marquis…

A blessing, a miracle, my heart…….

But…. I….. Long for a…. Companion…

Someone to hold, to kiss, to love….

ME….

I have many flaws; my life is simple, but very complex….

Too much to live for….

To ever wish death

 

Lucky

Everyday gets worst

Visions come more frequently

My love gets stronger

Seeing you thrills me

Not being him kills me

The one that wills you

Makes you quiver

Makes you nervous

The one that's not me….

Like Jazmine says

Your in love with another man

Ain't he lucky…

What If’s

What if I did what you did what you did to me?

What if I did the same?

Because two can play this game

What if I kissed the one you loved

What if I made that person smile

What if I made you cry at night

I thought we were real tight

With you I always saw the light

You are… were the closest to me

You hurt me once and I forgave

With hesitance but I forgave you

I… Forgave You!!!!

Because of my need of your support…

Without you I'm vulnerable

Yet with you now I feel the same way

I love you with all my heart!

But I can't trust you

Put yourself in my shoes

Would you trust me????

Betrayal twice???

The same way???

I don't understand

Anyone else but the one I love… loved…

Still love.

And you know that

Truth hurts…

But the truth is all I wanted…

Truth…

Something I never thought that would

A problem for you

Not you!!!

Not you!!!

Now I left with a lot of what If's

What If's.