Change?

Isn't it crazy how times change

So called friends act strange

And family becomes estranged

Yet the world remains unchanged

Even as stock exchanges

And our government shortchanges

Budgets

Money money money

Equals

Power power power

Equals

Location and status

Status

Power

Money

All things that derange man

Dreams outranged

Yet the world still remains unchanged

Corruption

Deception

Capitalization

Man arranges corruption

Spreading the message like sarcoptic mange

Never preparing for repercussions downrange

It's such a shame

People change

Yet the world remains unchanged

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man

Where was the affection…?

Where is the love…?

Daddy was gone…

Daddy is gone…

I'm done…

I'm tired…

I can no longer pretend to love a man who was nonexistent…

The first man who ever made me an option…

After him I came across many more…

Me with a big heart and open arms…

I loved men but men never loved me…

Hurt and abandoned I entered the world with no guidance…

No protection…

Daddy was gone…

Close yet so distant…

I was neglected…

Man picked me up and raped me of my innocents…

Robbed me of my trust…

Starved me of that unconditional love…

Broke my confidence…

Left stifled and confused…

Lost with no destined purpose…

I searched…

I wanna love…

I wanna live…

I wanna be free…

I want that special he…

I want to be a we instead of just me…

Is it possible???

Is he out there???

…

Daddy wasn't there…

Daddy didn't care…

The rest left, cheated, or were only interested in that one thing…

Mama always said my life wouldn't be easy…

But why so rough…

When is the pain gonna let up???

When will the hurt stop flooding my heart???

Terrorizing my soul…

When will the pieces finally make a whole…?

Vacant…

Blinded…

Guarded…

Speechless…

Disappointed…

I live on jealous of the happy people…

The un-sedated people…

Man…

God's creation in which I love…

When will you return the favor…?

 

 

My mistake

Once upon a time the sheer thought of you excited me…

Now, it makes me sick to my stomach…

You were everything I wanted…

But everything I need to live without…

A liar… a con artist…

A mirror with two faces…

A blessing … a curse…

Through you I met some of the most beautiful people in the world…

For that I am truly grateful…

Without you I developed a relationship with these people…

My friends…

Like Keri said you were a beautiful mistake…

It is what it is…

I caught feelings, my mistake…

It will never happen again…

But then again according to you we never had anything to begin with…

Does it hurt??? A little… Why??? I gave you most of me and you didn't care enough to notice…

I was played… Worked…

A cuddle buddy… a place holder… someone to keep you dick wet until he came back…

I was led on like livestock… Groomed and fattened before slaughter…

Once upon a time the sheer thought of you made me smile…

I felt the butterflies…

Now I detest those feelings…

What a waste…

So talented, yet so faulty…

I'm done…

History will not repeat itself…

Your pathetic… Gutter trash… Drop-ded…

With love,

Drakkar Dropded Dorvil

If it don't apply let it fly…

 

Love sick

I miss you so much its sickening... I toss and turn every night... I cry silent tears behind the seams of my heart... Pray it's no longer broken... My eyes burn wide open til dawn the next morn... As I mourn the thought of love... Insomnia replaces a once restful life...

Restless like a puppy... Sleepless like the sea... Stolen moments... Frozen in time and space... Condescending visits leave me feeling empty... No progression... But no loss in foothold... Delusional??? Maybe... Lost??? Definitely... Confused...

A kiss... A lustrous kiss... Hurts me... Pains me... Poison of my mind... You crawled into me... Stole my sanity... Love... Love is that what you are... A serrated edge... Cutting me deep... Letting in all the poison...

That wretched feeling... Morbid... Sick... Disgusted... With the thought that all of my joy was gone... Love a metaphysical dilemma that seems to not give a damn about me... I did it on purpose... I loved on purpose...

Left open... Vulnerable... Naked... Empty... Taken... numb...

My love is to beautiful to be thrown back in my face... Your version of love is to tainted... Yet you loved me until I was sick...

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Remembering Summer

As I lay here bored and restless I can't help but remember summer time... Remembering the warmth I use to feel at night... The comfort of being held like a baby... The long walks through the city... The endless movie nights... The epic gatherings... The sweet somethings that were actual nothings... The thrill of the unknown... The pleasure of the sunrise... The angelic sound of a voice... The bliss found in a smile... Happiness... True friendship... Love... Pleasure...

As I sit here and recall summer I can't wonder why the seasons changed... Where did my happiness go... It slipped away like summer into fall... The leaves changed color... It was beautiful but I wasn't ready... The warmth that once comforted me into the night vanished like the beautiful leaves... Before I knew it I was cold and alone...

I was now in familiar territory... I was here before... Have you ever noticed that not one snowflake is alike... As they began to fall I realized the beauty in each one... I now had time to appreciate what was right in front of me... I let the summer slip away... I truly do miss the summer... The warmth in the breeze... The leaves on the trees... The long walks through the city... Happiness... Love... Pleasure...

I miss it all

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Grandma

As the past fades

And our days begin to number

I cant help but wonder

What future will bring

Someone I love deeply is slipping away

And as I pray and I pray

And as I cry and I cry

Asking God  for more time

For more memories

More hugs

and more kisses

Unconditional love

Irreplaceable moments

Its surreal

Numb to the pain

Deaf to the situation

Blind to the circumstance

All I want is to hold you

To talk to you

To tell you I love you

Spell it out

To show you

To thank you

Thank God for our blessing

Because with you we are truly blessed

Without you we would have never been

Our mere existence is a testament of your love

You were blessed

And we were truly loved

You are the matriarch

The glue that holds this family together

And even as your strength fails you

Our strength grows

And will continue to blossom

In generations to come

Mama we Love You

And Grandma I Love You

Far Away

Marsha Ambrosuis inspired me to write this….

Where did you go?

Where were you when I needed you?

You always made it better…

Why did you leave me?

To face the cruelty of this world alone…

I was just trying to live my life…

We use to do everything together…

Always be there for each other…

You left me…

Disappeared…

Vanished…

I needed you…

In my hour of need you split…

Abandoned me…

Now I'm gone…

I did something stupid…

To numb the pain…

You gave me your word…

I cant come back…

I'm sorry…

The game played me

I broke the rules…

I trusted you…

I loved you…

I love you…

Too far to tell you….

I'm gone now…

Wish I could come back…

I hope you move on…

Forget about me…

Just know you are always my baby…

My heart…

Far Away….