Old friend

Hey old friend it was good seeing you…

I smiled as you pulled up

I missed you…

In ways I couldn't explain

I seen your mom…

She made me laugh

I see where you got your charm…

We went upstairs

Closed the door and surprise…

It wasn't the way I remembered it

Isn't it funny how life changes…?

But something's it stay the same

Our conversation nice and easy…

We spoke from our respective corners

But always end up coming together in the end…

I respect that

You respect me…

We kept it light

Even though thought was heavy…

Feelings of the deep depths

Neither of us have explored together…

The uncharted territories

Trying our best to push the boundaries without break…

A stress test

Or a constant battle with restraint…

We tire ourselves out

Both entangled in the webs of our bodies desires…

We sleep soundly

Safely because safety was not an issue…

I awoke refreshed

Rejuvenated …

Hey old friend

I've missed you…

Hey old friend

I've missed feeling light…

;)

Clarity

Some say I tell too much

But I say I haven't said enough

What I've been going through…

I could scream or cry at any moment

So what do I do?

Throw myself into work

Create new stress

And bigger disappointments

I have dreams

I have aspirations

But why does responsibility always…

I'm fucked

Mentally

Physically

Emotionally

Fucked

Speaking of emotions

I've been really on edge since I've left that medically induced comatose I called a life

Doctors

Medicines

They all wanted to numb me

Well I wanna feel

I wanna cry

I wanna know what my body and mind are going through…

Torture

My self respect is up

But self esteem lmao

I'm so over caring for Jim James Paul and Tyrone

Cuz something in me says they don't give a damn about me

Selfish

Selfless

Two words that seem to get confused

They think they're doing me a favor

I'm led on and led astray

Constantly confused

Underappreciated

Or unappreciated

I think I make myself very clear

Concise even

Yet my message still seems misconstrued

So what do I do?

What should I do?

Am I crazy?

Is this is all in my head?

Damn it

I need answers

I need the courage to ask those questions

I just need a moment of clarity

Domino Affect

My senses are in a heightened frenzy

I feel a sense of neglect

You open the flood gates

And left me empty

I go on my day to day

But like a candle left on overnight

My flame is dwindling

I give you a foot

And you're returning an inch

Is it me???

Cuz it's playing on my mind

My emotions are confused

My admittance to being weak

Scary

Bemused

I tear up with frustration

My fire extinguishing

Communicate to me

Communicate with me

Come back to my space

Spark my gasoline

Give me the mile you once gave

Ecstasy

I need that climatic experience

Just kiss me

Everything else will fall into place

Domino affect

Just kiss me

The moon is full

My tides are high

Kiss me

And watch as the tidal wave

Engulfs you

Just kiss me

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s Talk

Let's talk

I'm having an issue with the way a lot of things are panning out.

Dating

I like what I like

And I want what I want

I like what I want

But does it want me back

I'm confused    

Because I don't know if its insecurity

Or if I'm reading what I think are signs all wrong

I like you

I think you like me

Or could I just be you being friendly

I think I make my intentions clear

So why do I fear

That it is not clear at all

I guess instant gratification

And a more constant relation

Because this spotty conversation

Is killing me

I know you have other priorities

And other engagement s

And prior arrangements to attend to

But I need to see you more

So I can get to know you more

Because I'm interested

So let's talk

 

Dreaming state

I can't sleep well anymore
I keep wanting more to happen
I wake up hoping to see your name on my screen
Or see you next to me
In my bed comfortably
I miss a kiss good night
Or the way a body feels when it's held tight
Through the night
I miss him
I wanna see him everyday
That smile
Those eyes
His energy
The butterflies
I'm scared
I'm falling and I don't wanna fall alone
I'm afraid to hit the ground
That's why I need him around
So I know I won't be caught up
Alone
I'm in my bed
Thinking of you
By the phone
I wishing I could maybe
Call you my own
One day
Is it possible???
Or am I just in a dreaming state???

State of disbelief

Why are you the thing that I think of most?

Why are you so beautiful to me?

Why am I in a state of disbelief?
Why do I yearn for your conversation?

Why do you keep me on the edge of my skin?

Why do I want you at the tip of my tongue?

Why does your touch drive me insane?

Why can't I explain how I feel?

Why am I questioning everything?

Every time I'm in your presence nothing else matters…

You put my mind at ease without hesitation…

You make me smile…

Laugh…

You make me happy…

Happiness…

A feeling that been missing for…

Well where has this feeling been???

It's better than a day off…

Better than shopping…

Better than the doctor prescribed numbness…

Why do I feel 14 again???

Why do I feel like I'm keeping a good secret???

Why do I feel like Christmas morning???

Why does seeing your name across that screen feel like the first time?

Every time…

Every time…

And why when you kiss me…

Does my equilibrium fail me???

And why do I wanna know why???

Ready

I'm ready for some change in my life
No more lonely nights
No more misery
No more unnecessary stress
It's time for a new beginning
A new frontier
New horizons to broaden
Time to walk through that open door
To a new perspective
A new dynamic
A new attitude
I'm ready to date life
Get in bed with my future
And make love to my dreams and aspirations
I am ready for change...